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Be thankful

Dec 1, 2008

950

To be upset over what you don't have is to waste what you do have

Ken S. Keyes, Jr

I woke up again and have to do same chore over and over again. Wake up, work, home, sleep, wake up, work, home, sleep, repeat it till I die. Again I'm whining while out there someone pray hard for a job, each kind of job.

I had to give all, well 70% of my income to my family to support our life in Jakarta, one of the most expensive city to live in the world. Well thanks to my job, which is crazy heavy overload, I don't have the time for pleasuring my self. It's just home-job, home-job (how I wish for a blow job sometimes). Again I'm complaining, while there are other whose feels worthless because s/he couldn't support his/her family.

Here I am complaining because my salary is too small. I can't spend a weekend if my daily needs is overwhelmed my salary. I don't even have saving because my salary only come and go, just like a bus in the station. Well, to think that out there someone have smaller salary than mine, have to support his/her family, but they don't complain and somehow endure.

I'm envy for my neighbor cuz his cribs is bigger and he own PS3 and install an ISP with limitless quota 1 mbps download. While I know there are people who didn't have house, live on the street, didn't even know how to operate computer.

I think I'm having a nutrition deficiency cuz I'm eat only cheap food, instant food with little portion. And I know there's people out there who couldn't even eat and live in hunger and poverty, famine and sick.

I think my family is dysfunctional cuz we didn't spend time together, eat dinner or break fast together, my dad didn't become a role model he should (and I know he clould, but shoulda woulda coulda I guess). While my neighbor live in broken home. His parents divorce, his father gone don't know where, his mother always drunk and live life like a whore (pun intended) and his sister a drug addict whose too high to give a damn about her family. At least mine still live in married institution and live in the same house.

I curse the day I was born in Indonesia. Why I didn't born as an Australian or in Singapore? While some people have to live in war torn country or live in a country of poor and under economy sanctioned.

I think my spring bed is too wobbly and hard-surfaced, I have trouble to sleeping problem. While I know for some people is luxury just able to live in a shelter like mine.

I'm complaining that my genital is only Asian standard and not like humongous like porn movie star. While I know some people would do anything just to have their "gun" hard and loaded.

Hell I always envy others, always feel that I didn't have enough, always never been satisfied. Maybe because I'm just human, we never know enough, from flesh and bone we are, we born to make mistake. I don't know, maybe if I'm just sit back, take a breath and think, maybe I will be thankful for what I've got. Or maybe I don't, cuz I'm just an ungrateful bastard I guess.